To He Who Overcomes

“If you love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever- the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” John 14:15-17 (NKJV)

Have you made the choice between this world or the next? Do you love your sin more than God? Do you love the temporary more than the eternal? Do you love porn more than purity? Are you tired of constantly falling back into your sin? Do you know in your heart that looking at porn is wrong, sinful, and hurtful to yourself, those around you, and to the woman on your screen but there is just that uncontrollable urge? It starts in your mind, with a single thought. It quickly moves to your stomach. Maybe your hands start to shake a bit and your mouth begins to salivate. The thoughts get stronger likely bringing back images from past sessions with porn or nudity you’ve seen in movies or on TV. Maybe a particular word or a group of keywords is triggering to you and just thinking those words brings it all back and begins the cycle. You tell yourself “no, not again, not this time, I’m not giving in”. Maybe you are able to hold that urge at bay for a little while, maybe even a few days or a week or a month. But, just like every time before, you inevitably give in and look at porn.

After giving in, you feel horrible inside. The guilt and shame of your sin is crushing. You might begin berating yourself and condemning yourself (beating yourself up). Maybe you run and hide or, if you are like me before I gave my heart to Jesus, you just kept looking at more porn to try to hide from the guilt and shame, blind to the fact that you are just stuck in a vicious cycle that the Devil loves to keep you blind to (known as the “Shame cycle” https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/understanding-the-shame-cycle/). However, maybe you know/knew the Lord already or you’ve come to know him and you are still struggling with porn use/addiction. After using, You immediately come to the Lord and you ask for his forgiveness. Maybe you make a promise like “I’ll never do that again” but you’ve made that promise before knowing all too well that you don’t even believe the words that you are saying – maybe you wish it were true, but you don’t really believe it. After each failure back into porn, maybe You make a few changes to your daily routine, maybe you throw out your computer or get a flip phone. Maybe you’ve made changes to your living room furniture to try to avoid hiding behind the screen. Maybe you’ve even read a book or two on purity or you’ve spoken to a Pastor seeking help. You’ve made changes out of a genuine feeling in your heart that you no longer want to look at porn. But regardless of all these things, you still keep going back, you keep failing. Are you wondering what’s missing? I know I was.

I had followed so many of the above patterns in my life that I was at rock bottom and on Oct 3rd. 2021, I found the secret: I had gotten myself into the mess but I was also trying to clean it up. I was trying on my own power to win a battle that is spiritual in nature and involves the deepest parts of our hearts. I had gotten myself into the mess, I needed SOMEONE ELSE to get me out of the mess. I couldn’t do it on my own and neither can you.

When Jesus showed up in my life he gave me a choice: “Follow me as you say you are, or get out of my house and stop defiling my name”. I chose to follow Jesus. Jesus says we must deny our selves, pickup our cross daily and follow him. But, I didn’t know how to follow Jesus. I was raised in the Baptist Church and had come to the knowledge of my sin and need of a Savior and asked Jesus to forgive me when I was 16 years old. I was now 33 and I was confused. Why if I knew Jesus as my savior, was going to church, was reading my Bible (albeit, very infrequently), was serving on the Worship team at Church on Sunday, was I living like the Devil Monday-Saturday? Why was I not able to stop sinning? Why was I digging a bottomless pit for myself one day at a time while spinning a web of lies, hurting everyone around me, destroying my marriage, all the while knowing in my mind that what I was doing was wrong and clearly contradicted the persona I was playing on Sundays? It took me about a year to figure out the answer to these questions but God is so faithful! He is so loving and Patient and kind and wants us to learn and to grow and to come to him. God very quickly put a mentor in my life who began to teach me the missing piece in the puzzle for me: I didn’t know the Holy Spirit. I knew about the trinity and believed in the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But since I was never taught in my earlier life about the role of the Holy Spirit in our walk with Jesus, I wasn’t able to win victory over my sin and addictions as I wasn’t calling upon the Spirit for help. Here is a major Truth Bomb for you: The Holy Spirit is a person! Just like God the Father, and God the Son, The Holy Spirit is God and he is a person – the third person in the trinity. I wasn’t filled with the Spirit (although 100% he was already dwelling inside of me, I was just ignoring him for 17 years!), and I certainly wasn’t asking him to win my battle against porn for me. By Gods grace, that mentor handed me a book called “Under His Influence” by Pastor Lloyd Pulley of Calvary Chapel Old Bridge, NJ. Like most millennials, I had a “reading problem”: which means I hadn’t read a book in probably 15 years! However, when I said the words “Okay Lord, I’m done” little did I know that in my heart of hearts in that moment I had truly surrendered to the Lord. Surrendered my will to his and I was ready to allow the Holy Spirit into my life, to lead me, guide me, transform me, and to help me to yield my desires to his. By God’s transforming grace and the influence of the Holy Spirit, I began to not only read the book, but apply the truth of it in my day to day and it absolutely changed my life.

What I knew is that Jesus was my Savior and was the perfect sacrifice in my place on the cross. His death on the cross appeased God’s wrath and therefore I can stand fully justified before a Holy God, not on my own merit but because of Jesus Christ’s finished work on the cross – because of his life, his death, and his resurrection. Therefore I had put my trust in him and he became my Savior. In that moment, the Bible is clear that the Holy Spirit came to dwell inside of me (1 Cor 6:18:20). However, I was never discipled. No one took me under their wing and explained to me that in that moment not only had the Holy Spirit come to dwell in me but that he came as my Helper. No one helped me understand that He was sent to followers of Jesus to help us overcome the sinful nature we currently still reside within this side of eternity. I didn’t know what it meant to be “Baptized in the Holy Spirit” and how this can at times be a separate event from the moment you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior (See Acts Chapter 19: 1-6 where the Apostle Paul encounters a group of men who clearly believe in John’s Baptism meaning they believe that Jesus is the Messiah and accept him as such, but also clearly had not received the full power of the Holy Spirit). Therefore, I believe I was saved at 16, the Holy Spirit came to dwell inside of me, but I was never Baptized in the Holy Spirit until that moment at age 33 when I surrendered my life to Christ and gave up of my own will for his. I quickly learned by reading “Under His Influence” that Jesus had given me an unspeakable gift – not only eternal life in the new creation to come but also a very powerful helper who wants nothing more than to break us free from all the bondage of sin as we continue to walk with Jesus in this current life.

The Holy Spirit is the key to following Jesus! He is the key to overcoming addictions. He is the key to changing behaviors and the way we think and talk (example: removing foul language from your mouth Col 3:8). He is the key to wisdom and knowledge of God and to understanding the Bible. He is the key to a truly transformed heart and a truly transformed life. He is the key to never turning back and continuing to follow Jesus all the way into the throne room of Heaven. As I became aware of the Holy Spirit and his role in my life and continued to yield to him, Galatians 5:19-25 became so clear to me. It was clear that I was previously living like the Devil because in my sinful nature I am like the Devil! We are inherently evil and there is no good within us. Those not walking in the spirit follow the desires of our own hearts. Paul is clear, those who are without the Holy Spirit or who are not yielding to his influence in their lives exhibit these’ “adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries and the like” and that “those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God”. Ouch! I see a good handful of those in my past life and I’m certainly still exhibiting some of those characteristics at times in my life now. However, Paul is also very clear to the contrary, those who walk in the Spirit, calling upon the spirit, being filled daily with the Spirit and yielding to his power in their lives will exhibit these: “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” Yes please! I will gladly take a daily heaping helping of the fruits of the spirit! How about you? We cannot exhibit these true characteristics of the Spirit unless we are daily walking in the Spirit. These are all so important but lets never forget that last one in the list: Self-Control. This might be the most powerful fruit of the Spirit in the area of overcoming Porn use/addiction.

I have been coming into Jesus’ presence daily since Oct 3rd of 2021. I have asked Jesus every day to fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. To win the battle for me and to help me overcome. Daily I am being transformed into the image of Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit in me and here is maybe the best kept secret around right now: This power is available to EVERY follower of Jesus! Do you believe this is true? Do you believe you can call upon the Holy Spirit, yield to his influence in your life, and that you will actually overcome Porn use/addiction? I am a living testimony of this being the truth. I am over 4 years sober of Alcohol, 3 years sober of Smoking, and 3 years sober of Porn. I continue to fight the fight every single day. Yes, I continue to struggle with temptation and we will never stop being tempted until we are glorified with Jesus in Heaven. Do not be deceived, our enemy wants us to go back and stop following Jesus so he will continue to try every angle with temptations to get you to fall, but be of good Cheer! Jesus has overcome our Enemy! The more time I spend with Jesus, the more I walk in the Spirit, the lighter the temptations and I find myself beating them more and more every single day. I continue to come into Jesus’ presence, I spend time with him, learning from the Word of God, reading Christian books often (I hadn’t read a book in 15 years and since surrendering to Jesus I’ve read more than 50 books and I’ve read the Bible cover to cover almost 8 times in 4 years – I do not say this to boast but to shine light on the power of the Holy Spirit in my life – do you feel like you cannot sit still and read the Bible? Do you want to read the Bible more? Surrender to Jesus, come into his presence daily, and ask him to fill you with the Power of the Holy Spirit – continually! Start reading and within a year, I bet you’ll be surprised at your growth), and God is Faithful! He continues to help me daily and I believe 100% that he will be there for me as often as I call upon him. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Those who seek after God will find him. When we return to God, he returns to us. When we come to God, repent of our sins, and ask for his cleansing, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). He is the victory over sin, over death, and over all struggles in this life that keep us in bondage. Jesus is my victory over Porn addiction, now and forever and the Holy Spirit is my daily Helper keeping me on the straight and narrow path that leads to life. Does this mean I won’t fail, no, I cannot say “I’ll never do that again” But I can say 100 times a day if needed: “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner, please help me every day by the filling me with the power of your Holy Spirit, please win the battle for me – help me overcome the sinful nature in me, help me not to look at porn today and help me to have pure thoughts, dreams, and intentions. Please be my strength in time of temptations and my forgiveness anytime I fail. You won the victory in my heart and mind yesterday, please win the victory again today!” Each day I’ve prayed this pray, Jesus has remained faithful. He is the victory in my life, one day at a time. My honest and heartfelt prayer is that he will be yours! Come to Jesus today, Surrender your life to him, ask him to be filled with the Spirit daily, yield to the influence of the spirit daily in your life, and watch the transformation begin!

-In Christ, Ryan.

Luke 11:9-13: “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”